Finnish people are sexy, handsome, honest, trustworthy, then everything that the great potential dating partner has. But because we Finns are so shy and bad at showing our emotions, how on earth can you date Finns? Don’t worry because I’m here to share 10 tips to help your dating in Finland succeed.
1. Start Approaching & Meeting People
I’ve been reading articles which say that the number of people living alone and the number of singles are rising all the time. If you ask me, one of the reasons is that no one is approaching anyone here. We Finns are really, let’s be honest, bad at breaking the ice, opening conversations, and small talking. This doesn’t only apply to guys, but I think girls are also kind of passive, at least according to my experience. So very easy, simple piece of advice to start dating in Finland is to say hello to new people and start meeting them.
Dating in Finland is a numbers game. The more you approach, the more you go out, the more you meet people, the higher chance you also have to find a potential date. Quite a common way to do it is to go to bars and clubs and approach there, but you can actually approach anywhere. In the street, in the bookstore, in the grocery store, in the swimming pool. Basically anywhere. I mean, you are just saying hello. Is that so bad? Not as bad as you think. Even if we feel a little bit shy and maybe not as outgoing as in other cultures, we still have the natural desire to meet and date people. Keep that in mind.
2. Be open for dates
My advice is to try to meet as many people, as many Finns as you can, so you can get kind of a general understanding of us Finns, and also how we do dating. But I’m not saying that you need to go on 10 dates in a week, but rather if you’re not exclusive with anyone and you have a chance to go on a date with a guy or a girl, I think you should go because it’s always an experience you get to meet a new person. Also, you will slowly find out what type of people you will get along well with. That’s also important when dating and finding that partner and that wife or that husband.
Let’s say if you’ve been on a first date with someone and you get a chance to go out with another person the next week, that’s completely fine because we don’t become exclusive here after the first date. If a girl said that I couldn’t date any others after one date, I think that’s a red flag. It sounds like she’s a little bit too clingy, at least to my mind. But that’s just my way to do it. So what I’m saying that you don’t necessarily need to put all the eggs in the same basket in the beginning, because let’s say if you have a first date with three different people, then you can pick the one that you get best along with and then develop the relationship from there.
3. Work on your yourself and your confidence
Confidence is sexy, also here in Finland. So be bold and be direct. Let them know you’re interested, but don’t be too creepy at the same time. Confidence is something that you can practice. When I was in my early 20s, I was unconfident, terrible with girls. But then I discovered that confidence is something that you can practice and get better at. So that’s the good news because, for example, we cannot change our looks. We are just born like this. You can’t improve your looks, but you can enhance your personality, sense of humor, confidence, style, clothing, etc. That’s important.
If you get rejected, that’s okay. I mean, if you’re actively dating, rejection is natural as you might run into a person who is already taken, or maybe they’re not into you because not everyone is compatible with each other. That’s just something we need to accept. Don’t take it too personally and move on to the next one. Life goes on, and more opportunities will come, believe me.
4. Get a life
This might sound a bit harsh but hear me out. For example, the Finnish women are pretty independent, and I would say strong as well. We are not living in the ’50s or ’60s anymore, where marriage is like a must thing. If someone doesn’t just find a quality partner, they might stay single until they find one. I guess the same goes for guys as well.
Have things going on in your life. Get the job that you like to do. Get some hobbies, get some passions. That’s sexy in Finland because if you are staying at home all the time playing video games or watching porn, eating junk food, doing kind of these unhealthy habits, why would someone want to take you out for a date? Think about it this way, like I said, these are some things that you can develop. And if you develop yourself, you also build your sexual dating potential for Finns, as well.
5. Be open What You’re Looking for
And another thing to keep in mind is that what kind of relationship you’re looking for. If you know what type of girl or guy you’re into, what kind of criteria you have, and what kind of people you get well along with, that’s a good start for your dating in Finland. Because it will be easier to find those types of people once you know what you’re looking for.
If you’re looking for a serious relationship, then you should also let them know. Or if you’re looking for something casual or a one-night stand, or sugar daddy, sugar mama, whatever. If you’re on a date, you should let them know what kind of expectations you have, or what kind of thing you’re looking for, because like I said, the Finnish dating culture is quite open, so things are not so serious here. And, for example, sex is not considered such a taboo anymore and stuff like that. So my point is to know what you want, and you will have more success.
Use Tinder & Other Dating Apps
6. Use Tinder & Other Dating Apps
Tinder is a world-famous dating application where you can swipe profiles left and right, and it’s also widely used here in Finland. I think Tinder is a really great tool, especially in Finland, because I’ve said many times on this channel that we Finns are kind of shy and try to open conversations and engage in conversations, even if we’re interested, but it is so difficult. But Tinder makes things a little bit easier with dating in Finland. Set up a good profile, take some decent pictures, write out a nice bio. You can also let them know what kind of thing you’re looking for. It helps out to filter out the right type of people and then start swiping. I have used Tinder a lot, too.
Some people are taking Tinder a little bit too seriously. My advice to you is to take it as entertainment, as a kind of a bonus. If you happen to match with nice people, start chatting and see what happens. Go on some dates, have fun. You can never know what will happen to you. I’ve also made a street in the real video where I interview Finnish girls about Tinder.
7. Look in the Right Places
I just told you above that you know what you want, and most likely, you have hobbies and interests and stuff you like to do. For example, if you are into books, you should consider joining a book club and see if you can find some potential dates there. Or, if you’re into yoga, consider taking some yoga classes because if you find people who share similar interests as you, it’s beneficial. It’s easier to start the conversation and find more common interests and, in general, to get along better, so do that.
8. Be Tactful with Physicality
When dating in Finland, this is an important tip because if you know the Finnish personal space, the Finnish shyness, their kind of slowness, or the slow pace of the Finnish relationship, you don’t get too physical, too soon. This again is something that takes some situational awareness and some practice. It’s tricky because if you get too physical, too soon, you’ll scare them away. But at the same time, if you don’t do anything physical, you’ll fall into the friend zone. So finding the balance can be a bit tricky. Getting physical on the first date is definitely okay (and recommended if you ask me). I mean, you have to build this kind of physical tension and physical chemistry as well.
For example, I might poke her in just like a playful way or touch her here on her arm, what I usually do if I’m out with a girl and she says something funny or something. This is quite like an excellent spot to start touching, to build that thing, and slowly when things develop, and you can put your arm around her.
Kissing on the first date, definitely a good thing because if there’s no kissing on the first date, it’s kind of like a sign to me, at least that it wasn’t such a good date. And I’m always going for the kiss on the first date if I like her, because why not? So keep in mind, you need to get physical, but do it subtly and slowly build things from there. And you’ll be more successful, and get more dates, and get the best sex in your life. 😉
9. Don’t Be That Drunk Guy or Girl
This is more kind of a self-explanatory, but you probably know Finns are heavy drinkers, partiers, and if you hit the clubs and bars, that’s a good place to approach and talk to people, by the way, but don’t get too wasted. Even if the Finns are drunk, and you get wasted as well, and you start talking, it doesn’t improve your chances that much. Especially girls are always complaining that the guys who approach are drunk AF, so if you can approach sober, you’re already standing out because no one is doing that. No one is talking to new people when you’re sober. Can you believe that?
10. Don’t Be Needy with texting
This means that you don’t text too much or too often. This will come across as being too clingy, and for example, sending messages, why are you not responding to me? That’s not confident; that’s not sexy. Some people have these rules, like okay, if he sends me a message, I need to wait at least one hour. I mean, it’s really personal. Some people have that kind of rule. I think it’s kind of BS and annoying.
I think that texting should be the tool to set up a new date. The point is don’t bombard them with too many messages. Instead, what I personally like to do, I try to send a few funny messages maybe and then set up a new date, because, on those dates, that’s where you can have fun and get to know them. Calling is not a bad move either.
Finns tend not to be too direct with their display of interest during texts. And what this means that, for example, if they’re not interested, they might ignore and not reply to you. But if they’re interested, they will invest in the text and reply and ask you questions, so you can easily tell them from there. But we don’t really say, sorry, you’re not really my type. Maybe it’s better to be as friends. Well, some do, but we still tend to have this kind of awkward thing that we just let it die out slowly, unfortunately.
Have you ever dated a Finn? Let me know in the comments below.