Many people are looking for love. And if you’re into dating Finnish women, it can be a wonderful experience. But, if you’re from a different country, you might be surprised by some of the cultural differences.
Here are 10 pitfalls to avoid when dating Finnish women. I came up with this list with the help of my friend Varpu from “Her Finland.” You can check out our full video on YouTube to hear more about the “don’ts” of dating a Finnish woman!
10 Things NOT to Do When Dating Finnish Women
1. Don’t be surprised that she’s independent
Finnish women are independent—they’re in charge of their bodies, careers, and personal lives. So don’t be surprised if she’s independent and is bold about her thoughts and opinions in the relationship.
2. Don’t just say “hello” on social media
If you’re trying to start a conversation with a Finnish woman on social media, don’t just say “hello”! It’s a terrible way to start a conversation because it’s not original and doesn’t make you stand out.
Even worse than this, though, is sending a video—she’ll likely never watch it for fear of something inappropriate! Instead, put some effort into your opener, be creative, and give her something interesting to read to stand out from the crowd.
3. Don’t date two or more girls
In Finnish culture, dating (“seurustella” in Finnish) more than one person at a time is a no-no. If you’re interested in a Finnish woman, don’t keep her in a list of a few people you’re seeing!
The exception here is that it’s common and acceptable to go on a few first dates within a short period of time. Just don’t start anything serious and you’ll be okay.
4. Don’t be late
Finns are super punctual in both their work and personal lives. If you’re going to be late because of something unavoidable (i.e., the bus is late), make sure that you let your date know you will be late.
In Finnish culture, being late by even five minutes is seen as rude and disrespectful and can be a bad first impression
5. Don’t try to impress her by bragging
Finnish girls are not impressed by money and material things—they want to get to know you! This is particularly important if you are on a first date or just getting to know each other.
Instead, focus on bringing your confidence, sense of humor, and intelligence rather than your material goods. Humility is important in the Finnish culture, and bragging is discouraged in all areas of life.
6. Don’t shush her honesty
Finnish women can be brutally honest—it’s part of the culture here to always tell the truth and be direct. So, if a Finnish woman says something straightforward, let her say it, and don’t try to “shush” her or have her change.
7. Don’t expect her to open up at once
Finns are like coconuts—a little hard on the outside but then soft in the center. It just takes a while to crack into one! So, when you are dating a Finnish girl, give her some time to warm up to you and open up.
8. Don’t neglect her culture
Finnish people are proud of their culture, so take an interest! You can show interest by asking about culture, food, holidays, and everything else. This shows that you are interested in both her and her culture or background.
Asking about Finnish culture is also a good strategy on a first date when you don’t know what to talk about. It shows your interest and will also help the conversation flow.
9. Don’t be ambiguous or vague
If you decide not to continue dating a Finnish woman, make sure you tell her directly that you are no longer interested in dating. If you say something vague like, “I can’t give more to the relationship,” she won’t know what you mean! Remember, Finns value directness and honesty. It’s also good to communicate your expectations: are you looking for something casual or long-term?
10. Don’t expect to hear the same romantic stuff
In Finland, people say what they mean, so there’s no need to repeat something repeatedly. For example, saying “I love you,” might be said more rarely than in other cultures.
Most Finns feel that actions are more important than words, so how you spend time with someone is more important than saying the “right” romantic things all the time.
So, are you ready to start dating yet?
Finnish women are independent, intelligent, and all-around unique. But, to get past the first date, ensure you avoid these 10 pitfalls of dating a Finnish woman.
I have a free masterclass “8 Mistakes to Avoid when Dating Finns”. If you’re more into the Finnish dating culture, I highly recommend checking it out below!